Today I am starting over. Today, this blog is going public. Shame over the condition of my body has been one of my biggest enemies and I will not let guilt and shame control me anymore.After exploring lapband surgery, I came to realize that this was not the road for me to take. If I don't have control over what is happening with my body now, there is no reason to believe that that will change because of the added tool of having a lapband. So, without going into a lot of detail about what let me to this decision, suffice it to say that THAT is not where I'm going.
I have struggled with weight issues since high school and that was a long time ago. Sadly, there was nothing wrong with my weight in high school but I didn't recognize that and was influenced by others. It's been one difficulty and body issue confusion misdirect after another ever since.
But today -
I am saying -
GOOD-BYE
To Guilt and Shame
This morning is the first day of my work with the Dr. Heller's and their program they have devised for carbohydrate addicts. Yes, that me. No big secret. I love carbs in any way, shape, or form. Morning, noon, night - it's way too many carbs and not enough protein and veggies.
After a week of reading and studying their book, The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet, I'm ready to start. If you are interested in learning more about the program, click here for their website. Like Atkin's, they tackle the issue of carbs. UNLIKE Atkin's, they don't radically eliminate carbs. The Hellers focus on balance.
I shared a lot of this book with my friend, Elaine, who is very slim, and she has been an enormous resource of no bullshit feedback and support. And like many slim people, she has had to work hard at it, but she's been working at it for years and got the clues early for not getting out of control. I didn't - so here I am. Thank you, Elaine, for being my friend, and seeing past my exterior.
So - I share this journey with you. I commit to being excruciatingly honest. I suspect that sometimes it won't be pretty. And as the Heller's encourage daily weighing in to keep track of body fluctuations and discovering one's average weight loss for the week, I have done the first of my daily weight-ins. I will be posting everyday at least once a day, perhaps more. I'll be talking about food, menus, recipes, and what worked and what didn't.
This morning I weighed 267 lbs.
2 comments:
Anne - this is AWESOME. I was hesitant to say this earlier because you seemed so fragile and you really wanted to do the lap band... but I think that you are 100% right with the sentence where you say that if you do not have control now that won't change with a lap band. I have seen a lot of people in WW after various gastric procedures who lost weight and regained because they didn't change their food addiction problem.
And yes, I was and still am a food addict, just like you. No one can see it now, but it is still there; however, I have learned to be in control over it most of the time, and it's a wonderful feeling. You can get here. It's a long road with a lot of work ahead, but I think that admitting the problem and opening up like you are is the first step. Congratulations!
Also... my highest weight was 267 lb so maybe there is something there :). We are kin in this battle!
Wow, Tammy. The 267 connection is incredible. Definitely something there and you are not officially one of my guardian angels.
Thank you for the insight on WW's who had these surgeries and then regained. Logical, I suppose but I had not heard or thought about the possibility.
It's day four and I have a very disruptive weekend coming up. I'm already planning my reaction to the various challenges. I plan to write about it in todays post.
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