What a couple of days I have had. Saturday I took care of some errands and then ended up at Borders for coffee, a couple of books for the road, and a quiet reading place. While there I was reminded that Borders has my all time favorite carrot cake. I successfully resist in for months at a time and considering how many times I visit Borders in just ONE month, that is a lot of resistance. However, yesterday was different. Yesterday I realized that I would need to say good-bye to the luscious treat.

Getting a slice of cake post-surgery would be like buying an entire cake now and then consuming it over a period of several days. I don't see cake as a gone item but I do know that for the foreseeable future, it will be absent. And, when it appears again, it will be one or two bites only. I know I have a lot to learn yet and actual experience is only an idea at this point but I sure did enjoy saying good-bye to my favorite carrot cake yesterday.

At 4:00 Don and I met up at Starbucks. I was coffee'd out from Borders but it was nice sitting there for an hour just visiting outside and away from the house. After about an hour, the noise level really cranked up and that was our signal to go home.

Today Elaine and I headed to the mall for the much looked forward to shopping expedition. Since clothes shopping is one of my least favorite things to do, having a friend along made it easier. And not only was it easier, it was more successful. Not only did E not pull any punches on what not to wear (thank you Stacy and Clint) but she forced me to try on a pair of WHITE carpi's - something that I would not have dreamed of doing since I'm such a dirt magnet. Anyway, it was a great success. I have two complete looks and a few things in the wardrobe already that will fill things out.

Later we went to JoAnne's Fabrics and we were maximally disappointed. Bummer. But it was a truly successful day. Food wasn't crazy and going out and about having fun with a friend definitely keeps one's mind off of food.

Have a busy day ahead of me. Just had coffee black and a bowl of cereal. Getting cleaned up and head to the mall and the pharmacy. Lots of prep for my travel to Oregon on Monday. Need to contact Jone and Marilyn and make final arrangements for meet-up on Wednesday next. Running for now. More later.

Here's A Thought

I try to post to this blog every day or so and a lot of it is a sort of rambling stream of consciousness - sort of like my eating style. stream of consciousness is good for writing but not good for food. Discipline and faith in myself need to take front and center.

Did more lapband reading. so much to absorb (if you will forgive the terrible pun). Has a piece of spinach/feta cheese quiche at HOJ. also coffee with cream. Have a lot to think about. I'm going out in about a 40 minutes to walk around the amphitheatre (right outside my office door). I saw someone walking the walks yesterday and it reminded me that it is actually a really good place to walk.

Later

Well, I didn't walk the amphitheatre but Bogi came by and we walked to the cafeteria for coffee and then walked back. Was swamped at work again today and since it is my last day before vacation starts (one week. YEAH), I never got out to lunch and barely left my desk again. Deb (the boss) brought me a sandwich and then I worked until six. Came home to a surprise.

Krista informed her dad that today is First International Sushi Day. So - what do you think we had for dinner. Yup. Went to the Sushi Garden. Good as usual but as I write this I am thinking, "Jeeze, life just seems to revolved around food." Coffee at HOJ. Lunch wherever. Dinner here, there, home. Planning food, trying to control it. Be active. Not active enough.

Unbelievable how difficult it is and it's only going to get worse. The good news though is that I have the bariatric notebook. I can make a plan. I'll be saving money because eating out will not be so much anymore for a long time.

So - my day is ending. I'll continue writing a lot here. Going to Oregon on Monday so I may not have so much time to post daily but will write it all down and will have lots of non-food things to write about at my main blog.

Day is done.

Had coffee and a muffin this morning. My mind is switched to off. More later.

Later

My mind is switched back on. Dave called. We met for "coffee" at the cafeteria. I got an Odwalla drink - my first. Expennnnsivvve. But, good and 190 cal. no sugar added, all fruit and protein additive.

The weather is beautiful. There is a bit of a breeze. It was a nice walk. More later.

Later

Had lunch. Went to mariachi's. Had their beef burrito. And of course, chips. Delish but not good. I was thinking during lunch that it won't be much longer before I won't going out AT ALL. A big part of me wants to enjoy the things that I won't be having for a long time in the not too far future.

Later

Made another decision today. I have invited Tammy S. to be a reader of this blog. I think only Biene (of the five listed) is actually reading it this days but I think Tammy will be interested since she has lost a substantial amount of weight.

Talked with Ella W. today, at length, about her bi-pass experience. Also learned that Uli C. and Phil S. also had bi-pass. I knew they had lost substantial amounts of weight but did not know about the surgery. Interesting pattern developing. People seem to go for the bi-pass more than the lap band. I wonder why that is?

I am in a time of mental preparation. I know there will be more expected of me after the lap band procedure that has ever been expected of me physically. I suspect childbirth won't even compare to what I've chosen to face.

I've parked far away from Raleys so that I have to walk across the parking lot to get to the store. I'm doing little things to add steps to my day but not enough yet. Still eating but showing some restraint now. Had a hamburger today but chose fruit instead of fries or potato salad. Skipped breakfast. Not good.

I started reading the material Trish gave me on obesity and bariatric surgery and nutrition etc. etc. The reading is very no-nonsense and straightforward.

I spoke to Jennifer today from Dr. Uytingco's office (my GP). My labs came back with surprisingly good news. Sugar is normal and my bad cholesterol is only 130. A few years back it was 170. He wants me at 100 or less. Don't think I got the reading for the good C but it must be okay or she would have been more specific about it.

Tonight I did the first of two stool samples. (Ick - TMI!!) but sending this off will test for blood in my system. Blood would be bad.

So - tomorrow more walking. Add a few more steps. Get the mail myself. Maybe walk to MSR. Do more reading on Trish's material. It's a start.

It's a beautiful Sunday morning. Don and I drove over to St. Anthony's for breakfast to support a LifeTeen fundraiser. We got there very late and totally missed the crowd. Yay to that. There was the usual pancakes, eggs, sausage and bacon, orange juice and coffee. The first round was plenty and we had lots of time for good conversation with Tom and Mercedes, the LifeTeen directors.

Had coffee and a slice of toast w/peanut butter earlier in the morning but feeling very satisfied now.

More to come as the day goes on.

It's Saturday morning. The shower is warming up. I'm looking forward to the walk with Elaine. Updates will appear throughout the day


I had a bowl of cereal (sugared cheerie thingy) and toast with butter. Poor choices all the way around. Met Elaine at Starbucks and ordered a cafe au lait. After visiting for a few more minutes, we took off for downtown, a good place for unhurried walking.









I wore my new curves sandels. Not so sure I should be wearing these for general walking but at a slow ramble, I picked up some photos and generally worked up a bit of a sweat.




Later we headed over to Michael's. I had one thing I needed to get and of course walked out with three things and me with no coupon. Bummer but worth it. Picked up Don's favorite latte for him with a piece of coffee cake and my morning ended with actual movement involved.

The day went along from there. I had some toast and peanut butter at some point, looked over the goodies I picked up at Michael's and did some reading and writing. Then I took a nap. Woke up at 4:40 and went to Raley's.

Dinner tonight was grilled hotdogs, waldorf salad and beans. Drank water. Food is done for the day. It's 6:40.

Last night I ate herb breaded talapia, baked.
coleslaw
bread and butter
water

this morning is had 2 coffee w/cream and 1 muffin
Lunch was 2 shredded beef tacos (Main and Canal), rice and beans, and chips
water
Next time I will skip the rice and beans

tonight? Not very hungry. We'll see how it goes.

No exercise today. SAT in my chair all day.

TONIGHT - grilled hamburg on grill, melted cheese, had with mustard/ketchup on half a french roll. Later met up with Elaine at Starbucks for a cafe au lait. We talked about my future plans with the surgery, she made good suggestions for doing little things that would start to get activity back into my life -

parking at the back of the parking lot, everywhere.
make on walking errand trip to MSR daily
get on the treadmill even if it is only five minutes to start out.

Tomorrow morning she is texting me at 8 a.m. and we are getting together for more coffee but stepping out to walk, not sit and sip.

It's midnight and I'm thinking about food. Have not given in to the lure of the kitchen but will have some water before I go to bed.

Things have changed

Two weeks ago I decided to explore Lap Band surgery. I went to see my doctor, weighed in, had blood work done and now the package has been sent off to the insurance company for me to wait for the next step.

Don and I met today for lunch with Trish. Trish is the inspiration behind this decision. She is 5'1" and has lost 60 lbs so far. She had her surgery in Nov. 08. She in on track and plans to loss 40 more lbs. She is now my mentor.

I decided to start losing weight now and to that end, printed out some information from online, copied Trish's handout from her experience, and I'm writing down my food intake and feelings here.

Today I realized that since making this decision, I have given myself permission to eat most anything I please. No restrictions. No nothing. Add to that lack of exercise, and I'm a bigger mess than I was two weeks ago.

I've also decided not to restrict myself on how I talk about myself here. A spade will be a spade. If I feel like I'm a mess than I AM a mess. No amount of soft pedaling will change that. If we are what we eat then it's leaking out of my pours and I feel a mess.

Today I had fiesta quiche and fruit and coffee for breakfast. Also a cookie. I hated the quiche. Will not be having it again. At lunch I had water, and a BLT/egg sandwich with fruit. I tried to eat very slowly and drank my water - did not sip it. Trish says no straws because of air intake. Not good for you.

Tonight I am walking on the treadmill for 15 minutes.

So that is what is happening. I do not want bi-pass surgery. Lap Band is less invasive and goes more slowly. I like that better. My goal is to lose 120 lbs. by the time I retire in October 2010.