I weighed in at 263 this morning. Four pounds gone. Breakfast was the remainder of my egg substitute with two soy sausage links and a sprinkle of cheddar cheese. Tasty. Tonight I do my planning. Went brain numbed last night and didn't do any. That is one of the habits I'm trying to rectify - leaving things to the last minutes. In this case, the first small step is the awareness of last minute behavior. So - "Tonight, tonight", she said musically.
More to come later today.
2 p.m. at work
I did a lot of running around on my lunch hour. Totally missed sitting down and relaxing over lunch and had to solve the dilemma of eating out. Solution - I went to Chipotle's and got a salad.
Salad was lots of romaine lettuce, braised beef, grilled onions and peppers, just a little bit of pico de gallo (have to be careful of the carbs in tomatoes) and a bit of cheese. The server dribbled just a tiny bit of sour creme sauce and I had chipotle/honey vinaigrette. They serve it to you in a 2 oz container. I used half of it.
All together, it was just enough to make a moist and luscious and tasty salad. Had a diet coke with it and I'm good for the afternoon. I had to eat it at my desk which was a bit of an adventure but all in all a successful lunch.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Day Four
10:30 a.m. - at work
Last night I made Carb Addict's Cinnamon Coffeecake. It is light and airy and unexpectedly good. The solids separated from the egg whites and it puffed up a bit like a souffle. I had 1/4 of it this morning and I noticed that Kris headed out with some as well. I'll have to find out if she liked it. I have a feeling it isn't very substantial but so far it is getting me through the morning. I think I will finish it up at lunch in a salad along with my favorite, Brie cheese.
11:20 a.m. - at work
I Have Some Planning to Do - I got the follow tip from Tammy who lost over 100 lbs on WW and is now a marathon runner.
Planning is EVERYTHING. It's the foundation for all the rest. At the beginning of each week, I plan for which days I need to allot more points, and which days I will be more careful. I plan when to exercise. I plan my meals - all of them - and then I know how I will get through the week's challenges. I also think through situations like eating out: what I will eat at the restaurant, look on the website to see which entrees are more lifestyle-friendly (it is NOT NOT NOT a diet, ever, or it is OVER!), etc. If eating at a friend's house I ask what they are cooking, ask them to use less oil, offer to bring a big salad or a fruit salad for dessert w/Cool whip, or whatever. If you plan, you succeed. If you wing it, you fail. So good for you for planning!!!!
I'm travelling this weekend and this will be a big help. Also, I'll enlist help from our hostess. She's a great cook and she will a wonderful and supportive help.
1:40 p.m.
Lunch was a little strange today. I finished the "coffeecake" from this morning. It was more like a flattened cinnamon souffle but tasty nonetheless. I followed up with a couple deli slices each of ham and turkey. No veggies. No good. I forgot I had veggies from a couple of days ago waiting to be finished. I'll get those tonight. Felt tired and low when I came in for lunch. I was very restless last night and got little sleep. Still feeling out of sorts.
I stopped at Starbucks on the way back to work and got a tall, nonfat, plain iced latte. Here's what I found out later about the nutritional content:
Calories 100
Fat Calories 0
Total Fat (g) 0
Saturated Fat (g) 0
Trans Fat (g) 0
Cholesterol (mg) 5
Sodium (mg) 120
Total Carbohydrates (g) 15
Fiber (g) 0
Sugars (g) 14
I guess I better not do this again for a while.
Evening
I was so tired after work; there was no way I was cooking. I went to MacD's and got Don his usual and then to Starbucks for his preferred drink. I made his MacD's drink a diet coke and I was good to go with my own MacD's salad. Here's the breakdown:
Premium Bacon Ranch Salad with Grilled Chicken Cal. 260, Total Carbohydrates 12 g, Sugars 5 g, Newman's Ranch Dress Cal. 170, Total Carbs 9 g, Sugar 4g.
Total for Salad and dressing at dinner is 430 calories. And Brie for dessert. I love my Brie.
It's barely 7 p.m. and I'm hoping that this will be enough for me tonight. I need to look in the fridge and figure out tomorrow.
Last night I made Carb Addict's Cinnamon Coffeecake. It is light and airy and unexpectedly good. The solids separated from the egg whites and it puffed up a bit like a souffle. I had 1/4 of it this morning and I noticed that Kris headed out with some as well. I'll have to find out if she liked it. I have a feeling it isn't very substantial but so far it is getting me through the morning. I think I will finish it up at lunch in a salad along with my favorite, Brie cheese.
11:20 a.m. - at work
I Have Some Planning to Do - I got the follow tip from Tammy who lost over 100 lbs on WW and is now a marathon runner.
Planning is EVERYTHING. It's the foundation for all the rest. At the beginning of each week, I plan for which days I need to allot more points, and which days I will be more careful. I plan when to exercise. I plan my meals - all of them - and then I know how I will get through the week's challenges. I also think through situations like eating out: what I will eat at the restaurant, look on the website to see which entrees are more lifestyle-friendly (it is NOT NOT NOT a diet, ever, or it is OVER!), etc. If eating at a friend's house I ask what they are cooking, ask them to use less oil, offer to bring a big salad or a fruit salad for dessert w/Cool whip, or whatever. If you plan, you succeed. If you wing it, you fail. So good for you for planning!!!!
I'm travelling this weekend and this will be a big help. Also, I'll enlist help from our hostess. She's a great cook and she will a wonderful and supportive help.
1:40 p.m.
Lunch was a little strange today. I finished the "coffeecake" from this morning. It was more like a flattened cinnamon souffle but tasty nonetheless. I followed up with a couple deli slices each of ham and turkey. No veggies. No good. I forgot I had veggies from a couple of days ago waiting to be finished. I'll get those tonight. Felt tired and low when I came in for lunch. I was very restless last night and got little sleep. Still feeling out of sorts.
I stopped at Starbucks on the way back to work and got a tall, nonfat, plain iced latte. Here's what I found out later about the nutritional content:
Calories 100
Fat Calories 0
Total Fat (g) 0
Saturated Fat (g) 0
Trans Fat (g) 0
Cholesterol (mg) 5
Sodium (mg) 120
Total Carbohydrates (g) 15
Fiber (g) 0
Sugars (g) 14
I guess I better not do this again for a while.
Evening
I was so tired after work; there was no way I was cooking. I went to MacD's and got Don his usual and then to Starbucks for his preferred drink. I made his MacD's drink a diet coke and I was good to go with my own MacD's salad. Here's the breakdown:
Premium Bacon Ranch Salad with Grilled Chicken Cal. 260, Total Carbohydrates 12 g, Sugars 5 g, Newman's Ranch Dress Cal. 170, Total Carbs 9 g, Sugar 4g.
Total for Salad and dressing at dinner is 430 calories. And Brie for dessert. I love my Brie.
It's barely 7 p.m. and I'm hoping that this will be enough for me tonight. I need to look in the fridge and figure out tomorrow.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Day Three
10:15 a.m. - at work
I am in an excellent frame of mind this morning. Breakfast went well. Soy pork sausage and veggies broken up and mixed into two eggs. Sprinkled a bit of cheddar on the top. Good.
I've noticed that the soy products for this brand are somewhat bland. Next time around, I'll pick up Morningstar products. I've had these before and as I recall, they are much more flavorful.
I'm not feeling at all hungry this morning. My scale had good news as well. I've lost 2 lbs since Sunday's first weigh-in. That puts me at 265. I expect a big drop this week. First week big drops always happen but then it levels out to 1-2 lbs per week. I'll be very happy with that.
2 p.m. - at work
Went home for lunch. Had leftovers of the chicken paprika from last night. Didn't have any dressing for a salad (have to make it tonight). Had a wedge of Brie but no veggies. Not good and I have to avoid doing that too much. Stopped for gasoline on the way back to work and had an "aha" moment as I recalled that diet soda was allowable, so I got a 20 oz diet Pepsi. Refreshing. Just what I needed for an afternoon pick-me-up.
Evening
Tonight's meal was a big success. Chicken thighs (boneless, skinless) baked with a mixture of celery, onions, croutons, basil, parsley, and s/p. OMG, it tasted so good. But, wait, it gets better. Tonight I made up one of the salad dressings from the book - cottage cheese and IMO base blended with salt and garlic and blue cheese. It was creamy, flavorful, and tasted terrific. That plus Spanish rice and what a meal. No dessert. Haven't made any yet. May do so later to have on hand tomorrow. Dessert recipes from the book too.
All in all - another very good day.
I am in an excellent frame of mind this morning. Breakfast went well. Soy pork sausage and veggies broken up and mixed into two eggs. Sprinkled a bit of cheddar on the top. Good.
I've noticed that the soy products for this brand are somewhat bland. Next time around, I'll pick up Morningstar products. I've had these before and as I recall, they are much more flavorful.
I'm not feeling at all hungry this morning. My scale had good news as well. I've lost 2 lbs since Sunday's first weigh-in. That puts me at 265. I expect a big drop this week. First week big drops always happen but then it levels out to 1-2 lbs per week. I'll be very happy with that.
2 p.m. - at work
Went home for lunch. Had leftovers of the chicken paprika from last night. Didn't have any dressing for a salad (have to make it tonight). Had a wedge of Brie but no veggies. Not good and I have to avoid doing that too much. Stopped for gasoline on the way back to work and had an "aha" moment as I recalled that diet soda was allowable, so I got a 20 oz diet Pepsi. Refreshing. Just what I needed for an afternoon pick-me-up.
Evening
Tonight's meal was a big success. Chicken thighs (boneless, skinless) baked with a mixture of celery, onions, croutons, basil, parsley, and s/p. OMG, it tasted so good. But, wait, it gets better. Tonight I made up one of the salad dressings from the book - cottage cheese and IMO base blended with salt and garlic and blue cheese. It was creamy, flavorful, and tasted terrific. That plus Spanish rice and what a meal. No dessert. Haven't made any yet. May do so later to have on hand tomorrow. Dessert recipes from the book too.
All in all - another very good day.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Day Two
MORNING - 8:25 a.m. - at work
I am already struggling with the urge to have more. I awoke at 6 a.m. and felt totally unprepared for food prep today. I managed to make breakfast an easy task by scrambling two eggs and mixing soy pork sausage and diced yellow, red, and green bell peppers into the mix. It was tasty but oh, I am mentally screaming for something that is toast-like. Bread, bagel, muffin - damn it. And so early in the day.
Well, what was I really to expect? Reducing carbs is like any other withdrawal and this is my withdrawal period. These first few days will be tough. It will even out, I'm sure, but then I will be attacked by my craving's twin demon - Boredom.
I recommit right now - this is where I come to crow over my successes, scream over my craving's, and rail at the boredom that I know will hit me. The crazy thing is that yesterday I enjoyed the meals, enjoyed the careful preparation. I think I need to take a page or two from Julie Powell's attitude (Julie & Julia) and just throw myself into my crazed moments if that's what it takes to get me through to the other side and satisfaction.
MORNING - 10:45 a.m. - at work
I am feeling very jittery. Hungry. Drinking a lot of water. I'm out of here at noon to go home and make lunch.
1:20 p.m. - at work
Thank God the morning has been and gone. I went home for lunch and it took 40 minutes to prepare lunch. I had to thaw a chicken breast (10 minutes), grill same (20 minutes), sliced cucumbers, radishes, and celery. Dipped it all in 2T of ranch dressing (2 grams carbs). The best part was my much loved Brie cheese. I had a small wedge and that was that. Now it's water for the rest of the day.
I don't feel nearly as moody as I did this morning. I have a chicken in the crockpot at home and that will make a good main course for tonight.
4:10 p.m. - at work . . . The afternoon felt much better than the morning. I think I did not have enough to eat this morning and it really put me on edge.
Evening
Got home about 7 p.m. I was in meetings until 6 p.m. and then met up with Elaine at Sweet River. I had water. Over a period of about an hour and half, the chicken in the crockpot evolved into Paprika Chicken (out of the carb addict book) Tasty. I served it over biscuit and was satisfied after having a spoonful of peanut butter for dessert.
It looks like my day two has ended successfully.
I am already struggling with the urge to have more. I awoke at 6 a.m. and felt totally unprepared for food prep today. I managed to make breakfast an easy task by scrambling two eggs and mixing soy pork sausage and diced yellow, red, and green bell peppers into the mix. It was tasty but oh, I am mentally screaming for something that is toast-like. Bread, bagel, muffin - damn it. And so early in the day.
Well, what was I really to expect? Reducing carbs is like any other withdrawal and this is my withdrawal period. These first few days will be tough. It will even out, I'm sure, but then I will be attacked by my craving's twin demon - Boredom.
I recommit right now - this is where I come to crow over my successes, scream over my craving's, and rail at the boredom that I know will hit me. The crazy thing is that yesterday I enjoyed the meals, enjoyed the careful preparation. I think I need to take a page or two from Julie Powell's attitude (Julie & Julia) and just throw myself into my crazed moments if that's what it takes to get me through to the other side and satisfaction.
MORNING - 10:45 a.m. - at work
I am feeling very jittery. Hungry. Drinking a lot of water. I'm out of here at noon to go home and make lunch.
1:20 p.m. - at work
Thank God the morning has been and gone. I went home for lunch and it took 40 minutes to prepare lunch. I had to thaw a chicken breast (10 minutes), grill same (20 minutes), sliced cucumbers, radishes, and celery. Dipped it all in 2T of ranch dressing (2 grams carbs). The best part was my much loved Brie cheese. I had a small wedge and that was that. Now it's water for the rest of the day.
I don't feel nearly as moody as I did this morning. I have a chicken in the crockpot at home and that will make a good main course for tonight.
4:10 p.m. - at work . . . The afternoon felt much better than the morning. I think I did not have enough to eat this morning and it really put me on edge.
Evening
Got home about 7 p.m. I was in meetings until 6 p.m. and then met up with Elaine at Sweet River. I had water. Over a period of about an hour and half, the chicken in the crockpot evolved into Paprika Chicken (out of the carb addict book) Tasty. I served it over biscuit and was satisfied after having a spoonful of peanut butter for dessert.
It looks like my day two has ended successfully.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
The day started late for me . . .
. . . since I woke up at 9:11 a.m. What a surprise. Not at all usual for me.
By 11:30 I was eating my first carb addict program meal. Breakfast was an egg substitute onion/cheese omelet with veggie sausage links. Going veggie or using an egg substitute is an option only and since I like soy products, I went that route.
By 2:30 I knew that I would need to eat again by 3:30 or I would miss my second meal entirely and go directly to dinner sometime after 6:30 p.m. I put together a large green salad with a variety of veggies and a tuna salad mixture (recipe out of the program book). I discovered that cucumbers make me burp. I suppose they always have but I am really taking the time to notice how I react to food and, yup, there was a bit of quiet burping going on. Thank God it was quiet since I was at Mass during part of the cucumber siege on my digestion.
Evening is my reward meal time. The carb addict program has a few "must-do's" among which are
1.) eat your meal in a one hour period;
2.) no snacking; and
3.) your reward meal is anything you like but must be balanced.
The other thing about reward meals is that you can have seconds if you like but if you go for seconds, it must of everything you have already eaten. That keeps things in balance.
After tonight's reward meal, I had dessert too - orange/chocolate ice cream. This was my first and only carb of the day. I knew we had some ice cream left so I saved up my dinner carbs for dessert. Dinner was a grilled hamburger patty, salad greens, and steamed broccoli and cauliflower. I sprinkled a bit of grated lo-fat cheddar cheese over it all.
Meals were finished in the allotted period of time and now at 7:30 p.m. I'll just enjoy water if I feel the need for anything. I don't think finishing my meals in an hour will be difficult. I'm working at slowing down my eating but one hour is plenty of time.
I think the one hour restriction will have to be more carefully watched during special occasion dinners and holiday meals. I'll have a chance to test that fairly soon since it's October. Lots of holidays and special events around the corner.
By 11:30 I was eating my first carb addict program meal. Breakfast was an egg substitute onion/cheese omelet with veggie sausage links. Going veggie or using an egg substitute is an option only and since I like soy products, I went that route.
By 2:30 I knew that I would need to eat again by 3:30 or I would miss my second meal entirely and go directly to dinner sometime after 6:30 p.m. I put together a large green salad with a variety of veggies and a tuna salad mixture (recipe out of the program book). I discovered that cucumbers make me burp. I suppose they always have but I am really taking the time to notice how I react to food and, yup, there was a bit of quiet burping going on. Thank God it was quiet since I was at Mass during part of the cucumber siege on my digestion.
Evening is my reward meal time. The carb addict program has a few "must-do's" among which are
1.) eat your meal in a one hour period;
2.) no snacking; and
3.) your reward meal is anything you like but must be balanced.
The other thing about reward meals is that you can have seconds if you like but if you go for seconds, it must of everything you have already eaten. That keeps things in balance.
After tonight's reward meal, I had dessert too - orange/chocolate ice cream. This was my first and only carb of the day. I knew we had some ice cream left so I saved up my dinner carbs for dessert. Dinner was a grilled hamburger patty, salad greens, and steamed broccoli and cauliflower. I sprinkled a bit of grated lo-fat cheddar cheese over it all.
Meals were finished in the allotted period of time and now at 7:30 p.m. I'll just enjoy water if I feel the need for anything. I don't think finishing my meals in an hour will be difficult. I'm working at slowing down my eating but one hour is plenty of time.
I think the one hour restriction will have to be more carefully watched during special occasion dinners and holiday meals. I'll have a chance to test that fairly soon since it's October. Lots of holidays and special events around the corner.
Starting Over - No Lapband After All
Today I am starting over. Today, this blog is going public. Shame over the condition of my body has been one of my biggest enemies and I will not let guilt and shame control me anymore.After exploring lapband surgery, I came to realize that this was not the road for me to take. If I don't have control over what is happening with my body now, there is no reason to believe that that will change because of the added tool of having a lapband. So, without going into a lot of detail about what let me to this decision, suffice it to say that THAT is not where I'm going.
I have struggled with weight issues since high school and that was a long time ago. Sadly, there was nothing wrong with my weight in high school but I didn't recognize that and was influenced by others. It's been one difficulty and body issue confusion misdirect after another ever since.
But today -
I am saying -
GOOD-BYE
To Guilt and Shame
This morning is the first day of my work with the Dr. Heller's and their program they have devised for carbohydrate addicts. Yes, that me. No big secret. I love carbs in any way, shape, or form. Morning, noon, night - it's way too many carbs and not enough protein and veggies.
After a week of reading and studying their book, The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet, I'm ready to start. If you are interested in learning more about the program, click here for their website. Like Atkin's, they tackle the issue of carbs. UNLIKE Atkin's, they don't radically eliminate carbs. The Hellers focus on balance.
I shared a lot of this book with my friend, Elaine, who is very slim, and she has been an enormous resource of no bullshit feedback and support. And like many slim people, she has had to work hard at it, but she's been working at it for years and got the clues early for not getting out of control. I didn't - so here I am. Thank you, Elaine, for being my friend, and seeing past my exterior.
So - I share this journey with you. I commit to being excruciatingly honest. I suspect that sometimes it won't be pretty. And as the Heller's encourage daily weighing in to keep track of body fluctuations and discovering one's average weight loss for the week, I have done the first of my daily weight-ins. I will be posting everyday at least once a day, perhaps more. I'll be talking about food, menus, recipes, and what worked and what didn't.
This morning I weighed 267 lbs.
I have struggled with weight issues since high school and that was a long time ago. Sadly, there was nothing wrong with my weight in high school but I didn't recognize that and was influenced by others. It's been one difficulty and body issue confusion misdirect after another ever since.
But today -
I am saying -
GOOD-BYE
To Guilt and Shame
This morning is the first day of my work with the Dr. Heller's and their program they have devised for carbohydrate addicts. Yes, that me. No big secret. I love carbs in any way, shape, or form. Morning, noon, night - it's way too many carbs and not enough protein and veggies.
After a week of reading and studying their book, The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet, I'm ready to start. If you are interested in learning more about the program, click here for their website. Like Atkin's, they tackle the issue of carbs. UNLIKE Atkin's, they don't radically eliminate carbs. The Hellers focus on balance.
I shared a lot of this book with my friend, Elaine, who is very slim, and she has been an enormous resource of no bullshit feedback and support. And like many slim people, she has had to work hard at it, but she's been working at it for years and got the clues early for not getting out of control. I didn't - so here I am. Thank you, Elaine, for being my friend, and seeing past my exterior.
So - I share this journey with you. I commit to being excruciatingly honest. I suspect that sometimes it won't be pretty. And as the Heller's encourage daily weighing in to keep track of body fluctuations and discovering one's average weight loss for the week, I have done the first of my daily weight-ins. I will be posting everyday at least once a day, perhaps more. I'll be talking about food, menus, recipes, and what worked and what didn't.
This morning I weighed 267 lbs.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Rewiring
I've just been quietly going about my business this week. Rewiring my attitude towards food is complex and time consuming. Last night I made Sloppy Joe's for dinner. Kris and Don had buns. I had it on lettuce, LOTS of lettuce. Also had grated cheddar cheese on it. Probably had too much cheese on it. More rewiring. But, it was like a taco salad. I liked it better than with a bun. Waldorf salad accompanied.