Patterns

When I dropped from my regular blog, it was like saying an official hello to January and my season of reflection. Writing here at this private blog has made me look more closely at things. I've been blogging long enough now to have noted this pattern and there have been some interesting results from it.

• I became more comfortable with writing and sharing my creativity publicly;
• I discovered a world of friendship and redefined its value and came to appreciate its many manifestations;
• I found a way to follow my own rhythms and not pattern myself after anyone else;
• I discovered that there was a world of women out there who had found similar paths that have helped them over life's challenges.

Each discovery has always brought me back to a specific and enduring issue - my own attitude towards my health and self-care. I think Krista (I love you, you are my best girl) will like reading this. So will Don for that matter.

This is my year to start doing the right thing for myself health-wise. I don't remember the last time I had a breast or PAP exam. My on-going battle with weight is unresolved. I'm quite sure I understand the root causes of my weight problem and food issues but knowing does not change the fact that the body learns certains kinds of behavior and after a while the mental patterns that influence behavior take over in such a way that control is automatic and the effort to get back control almost impossible.

Elaine encouraged me to take just one step, do just one thing. Health exams seem like they would be the most immediate thing to resolve so one phone call today will help me determine if I can choose my own OB-GYN doctor. If that is so, if I do not have to call my PCP for a recommendation, then that will be the easiest step to take.

So, I'm off to make that phone call to the benefits officer on campus and take that first step. More to come.