Mission Post #22 - I'm having a moment

Is it possible to go into a pre-travel slump?  I'm at 57 hours until departure and counting.  Suddenly I am sad and yearning and looking back and I haven't even gone forward (let along GONE) yet.

I'm feeling a bit achy inside and I feel a hole widening where my heart usually is.  It sort of feels like a sinkhole  

I'm starting to miss my little dog even though I'm still here.  

I'm realizing that Don and I will be on top of each other continuously for five months.  No surprise about that but the reality of it is hitting me.  I need to sort that one out.

I so enjoy having Kris and Adrian around that I don't want to be away from that so soon after their return.  

I feel like I'm running out of time.

I'm at the point where I am now packing.  The suitcases feel so small.  Taking what you need for five months feels like so much.  

I returned the boots I bought.  I put on socks and suddenly they were too small.  I have lots of socks.  I have two pairs of  shoes I'm bringing with me.  One pair is good for wet, the other - not so much.  I may have to solve this problem on the road.


I have a stack of books and five inches worth of binders filled with reading material.  There will be three cameras, one laptop, a mouse, and cords galore.  

I haven't even considered that I might need a more multi-use purse to carry with me that can handle everything from lipstick to a laptop.  I think two suitcases has turned into three since I have a tote good for carrying a laptop, etc.

So - I'm having a moment and am starting to feel anxious.  I'm feeling a little nauseous.  We have a date to meet with the kids tonight and fill them in on everything they need to know about the house and where to find our important papers . . . in the event . . .

Oh, and what is that little basket next to the binders, you might be asking?  It's my Christmas gift from Don - a selection of Victorian themed stationary.  Paper.  Envelopes.  Cards.  Postcards.  Two journals.  

Along with updating on Facebook and blogging, we will be keeping in touch the old fashion way and journaling nightly while we are on the road.  Friends, there is a book in the making.

Mission Post #21 - Preparing for a different world

Sr. Darlene wrote to use this week and shared some thoughts with us as we make our final preparations for the trip to Missouri.

"Now that the wedding preparations are behind you, you can truly begin to prepare yourselves for the journey and life God has called you to here in Pemiscot County.  I urge you t open yourself in prayer, asking that you will find the many gifts God has placed here for you.  I join you in this prayer.  We must always remember that our lives must also be transformed by the God who calls us and by those he calls us to be with.

 . . . Even though you are not coming to a foreign country, you are entering a different culture and way of life.  We will discuss this when you get here.  In mission, we are called to be both Martha and Mary.  We must learn to achieve a balance between the two ways of being.  We must not always seek the business.  We must learn to treasure the quiet and the time to be totally present to Christ in prayer or in sitting with another. . . ."

I must admit, I've thought of the different world I am committed to stepping into.  I've been to this small town on the Mississippi only twice; both times were short visits but I felt the huge cultural divide even then.  There is a slowness of pace that I'm very unfamiliar with.   The manner of speaking is so slow that I actually found myself slowing down my listening in order to not get ahead of the direction of conversation and then discover I've made a wrong turn.  The relationships between people seem to be more formal and conform to patterns of interaction that are not at all casual. 

Don is very familiar with this world.  I am not.  I told him yesterday, as we discussed it, that my first couple of weeks there, I intended to keep my mouth carefully shut and my ears wide open.  I have a lot to learn and not to much time to learn it in.

Mission Post #20

Two things have competed for my attention this year; Krista's wedding and the departure for our mission trip to Missouri.  Krista's wedding is passed us now - Dec. 29th.  And now I can concentrate on packing up my life for the next five months.

Don, who is much more organized and focused than I am, has been working on aspects of our travel for several months now.  He has made three separate trip binders; one for Catholic shrines we will be visiting, a second for Civil War sites, and a third for our maps showing us the itinerary, military lodging, and people we will be visiting along the way.

I know I leave a lot of the burden of this trip to him.  I would wing it, if I could.  But, that is not in his nature and people who CAN wing it, are the very people who find it easier to step back and let the organizers take over.  I'm really grateful for what he does and acknowledge that a little (or a lot) of planning isn't a bad thing at all.

So, now it is January 1st.  We leave in nine days.  I think that is enough time for me to figure my packing out.  I hope.

Mission Post # 19

Omigoodness. I'm tingling with chills. We are six days from Christmas. We are nine days from the wedding. And, we are 21 days away from leaving for our mission trip. 

Over the past few months, we have collected so many donations of children's clothing and maternity clothing that, in all likelihood, we will have to ship some of it to arrive ahead of us. We have also received a few cash donations that people have told us to use as we like and/or for trip expenses. 

Then. TODAY. A Christmas card arrived with another donation enclosed. The donation was cash. The card was anonymous. I'm still feeling chilled and pleasantly shocked, by what we found inside. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

I am so grateful for the goodness of so many. Never, in my wildest dreams did I see any of this coming. God bless you all.

Mission Post #18

This week and last brought us some exceedingly generous donations.  I met the Millers in the church parking lot and bags of food, baby cereal, wipes, diapers, and much more (all new) transferred from their car to mine.  The big surprise though was a brand new EvenFlo car seat.  I was floored.  Sister needs car seats and I knew that one very lucky mother was going to be very happy.

Then I met up with a good and long-time friend for lunch a few days ago.  In between caring for her very ailing mother, she still was able to find time to go to Walmart and gather up $200 in gift cards for sister to use for stocking the most needed ongoing items.

Today we received a phone call from another lady from the church who, as it turns out, lives just a few blocks away from us.  She brought by ANOTHER car seat.  It's used but in very good condition.  Score!  Two car seats for sister; another lucky mother.  Sister Darlene may bust out in a happy dance.

Mission Post #17 - Gifts of the Spirit

The First and Highest Gift of the Holy Spirit is Wisdom.  Wisdom is the perfection of faith. As Fr. John A. Hardon, S.J., notes in his Modern Catholic Dictionary, "Where faith is a simple knowledge of the articles of Christian belief, wisdom goes on to a certain divine penetration of the truths themselves." The better we understand those truths, the more we value them properly. Thus wisdom, the Catholic Encyclopedia notes, "by detaching us from the world, makes us relish and love only the things of heaven." Through wisdom, we judge the things of the world in light of the highest end of man—the contemplation of God.

II am nowhere near perfection and actually, the amount of wisdom I possess may be equal to what is needed to know when I've taken a step backwards.  Today I realized that I was taking forward steps towards wisdom without even knowing it and that bit of awareness lead me right to what I'm going to call "my error of the day".  Yeah.  Just one.  But wisdom tells me that an "s" can easily be added to "error".  So I guess I should count my blessings that today's insight came in one long protracted lesson.

Committing to going on a mission takes a lot of thought and later, preparation.  And then practical actions (like applying to be a volunteer).  And then there are recommendations, criminal checks, background checks, and online classes to be aware of child abuse and elder abuse.  Reality check time.  This just going out and doing something good for others is not a simple process in the 21st century. 

But with that all behind me, other areas started to open up.  I found myself praying more, becoming more conscious of my actions, and following breadcrumbs that pointed out behavior that needs to change.  Which brings me to today.

The Walmart Neighborhood Store was not very busy and I got everything I needed that was on my list.  Then I wandered around and decided to pick up a few more things that I had reserved for Raleys.  Win/Win.  Then I got to the checkout stand. 

Stand one - there is a problem so I go to

Stand two - and met a big load of groceries to be checked so back to

Stand one - where I discover the problem will take a while and it's back to

Stand two - where a full basket from another shopper is now in line.

At this point, I start to wonder when they will open checkout stand three because people are gathering; everything else is Self-Checkout.   I make a comment about opening Stand 3 but it falls on deaf ears.  Then, Stand 2 shuts down too and still no one responsive about getting someone to open Stand 3.  I'm not shy about stating my feelings.  Then in undisguised exasperation, I go to Self-Checkout.

Self-Checkout at Walmart is easier than it is at Raleys; I'll give it that.  There is no machine beeping and speaking at you.  Nice.  BUT, reaching deep into the basket was hard on my back and by the time I was finished with my very full basket, I was a sore and crabby mess.

To add insult to injury, another couple who had been there with me when this mess started (and had only five items) was just finishing checking out at Stand 2.  Yes, they had finally reopened.  A few growling words later, aimed at the clerk, and I was gone.

Okay, so you had to be there.  Bad customer service at the checkout after a good in-store experience and a nice clerk at the meat counter, just plain soured me.  Walmart!

So, I went home, cooled off (literally and figuratively) and then headed out to Raleys.  First stop, Starbucks (and the beginning of my breadcrumb trail fed by my moderate supply of accumulated wisdom).  There, I ran into John, a young man I had not seen for a while.  We chatted and caught up and I admired his Spanish language Catechism of the Catholic Church.  I told him about my and Don's upcoming mission and what we would be doing and at the same time consider that I need to start paying attention to my Spanish self-studies again.  It occurred to me that reading the Catechism in English and Spanish might be a helpful learning aid.  It also got me thinking about Walmart and my actions there.  God was sending me a message and His Wisdom was moving in and taking over.  I then moved on to Raleys and quickly discovered that God wasn't finished with me.

So, no sooner did I go into Raleys than I saw two nuns.  Now, this isn't an everyday occurrence around here and to add to the recognition factor, they were wearing traditional habits.  One of the nuns was hurrying down the aisle and rounded the corner.  She disappeared but then I turned around and there was another nun, with a laywoman.  I had to speak and said "hello".  The breadcrumbs turned into an entire loaf of bread.

She was Sr. Maria Santana of the  Irmas Missionarios dos Pebres.  Their mission is to help and serve the homeless, sick and destitute among the children of Brazil.  This naturally lead to me sharing our upcoming mission to serve the poor in SE Missouri and our work with Sr. Darlene.  It was an amazing and unifying moment and God's message and His grace was received loud and clear.

Wisdom is teaching me take a deep breath.  Look at what is going on around me.  Take inventory.  Be patient.  Recall the wisdom of keeping your mouth shut when the words that want to come out will wound someone or, worse yet, make you look like an idiot.  And just to make sure that I knew who was in charge, He gave me one final test and after some thought and deliberation, I said just the right thing.  I spoke from my heart.  I was direct, honest and didn't compromise my beliefs.  End result?  A nice conversation with a former student and an opportunity to teach a little bit about taking information about the Church from the source, not from media or other uninformed interpreters.   Thank you, God, for the gift of wisdom that gave me just the right words to make everything end A-okay.

Mission Post #16 - What Unites Us?

What unites us as human beings?  What is it that we all have in common that makes us one?  In answer to this question, at its most essential, what unites us is blood and bone.  We are all human.  We are men and women.  We may come in various shapes, sizes, and colors, but, we are all human.  We all experience joy, satisfaction, and the desired to do good.  We suffer pain and sorrow, know hunger, want, and thirst, and we all experience the impulse to commit acts for good or evil.  We are complicated creatures that act on more than instinct.  Sometimes this sense of unity comes home in a very real way and we find that we may be the sum of our individual parts but we are all also brothers and sisters beneath the skin.

This weekend Don and I took our next big step in preparing for our mission to southeastern Missouri this coming winter/spring 2014,  Saturday and Sunday we spoke at all of the English and Spanish Masses telling our community of Catholic brethren at St. Anthony's of our upcoming mission; we introduced them to the small community of Glenmary nuns, priests and brothers who serve Appalachia and the South and their mission to serve the poorest of the poor in areas where there is often no Catholic presence at all.

We spoke of Mother's House in Caruthersville, MO and Sr. Darlene's mission to serve the many impoverished single moms of the area.  We asked, not for money but, for donations of maternity clothes, baby clothes and baby food and baby toys.  In a community where children wear uniforms to public schools, we asked for navy and khaki pants and red, blue and white  polo shirts that would fit teenage pregnant girls.

After seven Masses, I found myself reflecting on what unites us.  We of St. Anthony's are a community of people where some have great wealth, many are ordinary middle class, and more than a few are the working poor and not a few who are undocumented and living in the shadows.  We are Anglos, Latinos, and Filipinos.  But at the end of the Masses, at the end of our appeal, I felt so united with all of them.  The response was so overwhelming and positive.  People understand need no matter their "station" in life.  Giving is something we can all do.  There is always someone who has less than we ourselves have and giving fills the need to reach out and help another even if we have a hard time helping ourselves.