Mission Post #7

I took a step back for a few days.  I've been feeling very muzzled lately like I don't have a right to dissent from current popular mores.  The feeling sneaked up on me over a period of time and the end result is that I have become angry that I am feeling effectively shut up.   

My position of abortion, same sex marriage, and speaking freely if I disagree run counter to our current repressive culture.   

I've been thinking a lot about the mission this week and I realized today that I really need to do some interior housecleaning.  I'm thinking of finding a spiritual advisor to help me along the road.  I know a couple of priests, Sam West in particular, whom I might approach.

I think part of what holds us back from seeking spiritual advise is our sense that we can be self-reliant.  I know that is one of my big problems so I don't turn to God first when troubled.  I stumble around in the dark a lot.  I must admit that I have gotten a lot better at turning to God than when I was much younger.  But at the moment I feel a bit behind the eight ball.  There are serious changes coming up in the not too distant future and I want to get this right.

Mission Post #6

Just a short check-in.  Don is gone all day today.  No car for me.  The front room is calling.  Today I'm gathering up all my crocheting and embroidery supplies to start working on now and to have ready for the big trip.  Along the way, I'll dump more stuff from the front room.

I ordered some books from Amazon yesterday.  I'll be doing this periodically to prep my travel library.  I won't take them all with me, of course, but I'll have plenty to choose from.

I've been thinking about clothes and totally failing. Typical. I think I just need to start a list of whatever I think of and then hone away.

One good step forward is the email I sent to Hewlett's Auction House a few weeks ago.  I spoke with Mrs. Hewlett yesterday and she is forwarding the information about my prints to a local Turlock expert.  Perhaps I'll get some guidance from her and get these prints sold.  It would be nice to have the money to add to our travel fund.

Mission Post #5

I'm looking for that positive spin and there is no time like the present.  We may  be six months out from the trip but as the wedding draws closer I am going to be less and less focused on the mission and more and more focused on the wedding.  Right now the big question is "What do I think I need to bring with me?  What are the familiar things I need to take with me to make my world still comfortably my world"?

Well - first and most obviously, I need books.  Books, my windows to satisfying curiosity, my hunger for knowledge, my desire to read and hear the thoughts  of others,  from those those long ago to current thinkers and observers.  Books, my avenue to escape, romance, fantasy, adventure.

Running neck and neck with books is my camera(s).  I have six months to use the owner's manual and really completely familiarize myself with what they are capable of doing.    Along with my camera, I want to attach a little piece of hardware to my laptop..  I've been looking for a mini-printer and there are a couple of possibilities but I've still a lot of looking to do.  Staples has one option but as I learn more about them, I'm thinking that a small regular printer may be better.

So at this point is books, camera and printer.  Next stop is art supplies and I'm thinking crochet, photo tinting (click HERE for more info about that) and creation of a small art survival kit (check out YouTube for ideas).  But right now I really have my mind on that printer so it's close this and head back over to Staples/Target/Walmart and see what is offered and do some comparison shopping while I'm at it.

Mission Post #4

Continually thinking about C'ville and the future.  

Fears of boredom.  

Fear of saying something that comes out wrong and will embarrass Don - these are his friends after all.  

Will it be COLD?  Will I be prepared?.  Will the weather scare me?  Not just there but throughout the SE.  I'm not used to snow and ice and storms and lightning, and, and, and . . .  

The people are different.  The world there is different.  I've been there twice and all I remember are his parents and a very slow pace. I'm wandering so far outside of my comfort zone, I feel alien.  Going to Europe would feel more familiar. 

 I'm being an idiot.  I need to think of Ingrid Loyau-Kennett in England and her bravery in the face o f a blood covered islamic madman.

 I need to think of what lead me in this direction; my belief that my Faith is truly my strength.  I don't need to fear anything.  

I don't need to fear that I'll embarrass Don. 

 I need to remember where fear comes from and that it is one of the evil one's most efficient tools for keeping us from doing what is right.

Mission Post #3

Don and I talked about Caruthersville over dinner last night.  Sacred Heart Church has a Mass on Wednesday evenings, but no morning Masses.  We might have time to drive over to Owensville, KY with Sister Darlene (to the Mother House) for a visit.  Memphis and Graceland are only two hours away so visiting Elvis is on our dance card.

We have a large USA map Don is posting on the wall in the hallway and I'm going to start locating blog friends and family members to consider possible visiting alternatives.  There are a cluster of people in W.Va and VA and Tennessee.  Later, Michigan and Wisconsin visit on the way home.

I've started thinking about what I plan to bring with me for reading and entertainment.  I suspect we won't be seeing much TV which certainly isn't a bad thing.

Mission Post #2

There is no question that part of my anxiety is wrapped up in money.  We have little extra and are simply moving forward in faith that we will have enough.

None of our financial obligations will really change.  Kris and Adrian will live at the house while we are gone and cover utilities but the entire house payment will no doubt continue to be ours.  The expectation will be that the kids will have time to find an affordable place to live.  And, of course, at this point, we have no idea where we will be staying of how much it will cost us.

MY plan, which started a couple of months ago, is to save money every week.  The method is thus:

Week 1 = $1
Week 2 = $2
Week 3 = $3

and so on.

Last week I saved $10 and I happen to have another $5 to add to the box.  Yes.  The box.  I haven't told Don.  I am simply squirreling money away.  I hope to have over $1000 come January.

So, yes, money is a big concern.  It always is with me but I'm renewing my faith that we will be provided for and have sufficient for our needs.  I did it successfully when Don retired from the military in 2000.  I can do it again.

Mission Post #1

We are now officially applicants for volunteer work with Sr. Darleen.  We have gone from thinking about it to talking about it to applying for the work.

I have gone from worrying about Don and suggesting it to thinking about it in the abstract to now feeling anxious because I know my life is going to change.

Questions of what I will be giving up and what I will be gaining have taken up residence in my head.  The questions are unanswerable, the mission isn't here yet - the experience is still 6-7 months in the future.  Don knows exactly what he is seeking, I'm lost in the possibilities and the unknowns.