Yesterday, July 11th, I read the date, July 12th. I was reading something; I don't remember what and the date was part of whatever it was that had captured my attention. I stopped and pondered for a moment as I tried to remember what July 12th meant to me.
This morning I found shade still laying across the front porch and my book and the chair met with me nestled in between them. I was reading Vivian Swift's When Wanderers Cease to Roam and since it was July, I turned to July and started reading. July 12th floated before my eyes. Again. And today is July 12th. What odd bits of memories were forcing their way to the surface? What was the significance of this date in my memory?My parents were married on January 12th. My mother's birthday was July 21st. Were the threads of my memories rewiring themselves? Did I have something to worry about? July 12th was beginning to annoy me.
I settled into reading again, engrossed in Vivian's love affair with pretty dresses, her sweet memory of a Tunisian night at the age of 20, making me think of my own daughter's Tunisian adventure at a similar age. We shared a love of birds and butterflies and a love of relaxed, comfortable, uncluttered clothes. I was especially charmed by her unique solution to shaking off the blues of a failed engagement or marriage. And there it was. July 12th. 45 years ago
Hovering flashback
An ill-fated, marriage
Painless memory
Black confetti bed
Scattered Marriage vows
Lost in healing time
There was a time when this date never passed unnoticed. It is a benchmark from my youth that offered up lessons long after the date had become meaningless. Eventually the date started to slide passed and when I did think of that date, it was gone, farther away by another year. Odd that it popped up again today but perhaps really not so odd after all. I struggled to remember why this date was important at one time. It took me 24 hours to remember. I like that.
7 comments:
It is finally gone. I didn't know that forgiving took that long, but I guess I'm in for the long haul then. 45 years. Ouch.
You are free. Smile. Good post.
A reminder of lessons learned. I couldn't remember November 2nd until this post brought it to mind. :-)
It is so amazing to me how a date will float by, and then the tip of the iceberg melts and I remember... it is even more wonderful when a date that had charge, no longer does, and I sail on past the submerged iceberg into sun and carefree waters... thank you Annie for sharing this!
thoughtful, brave and beauty post.
love that you have shared so personally your journey to healing.
xo
Blessed time, and its healing powers!
Wonderful haiku ~ and lots of distant reiki healing hugs to you ~ xoxo
artmusedog and carol (A Creative Harbor)
You have such a way of writing out your thoughts - just beautiful! I had a similar experience the other day - July 25 ...ah yes, my mom's birthday - she's been gone almost 30 years - she would have been 89 this year.
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