We are in our second full day in Indianapolis enjoying our time now with our son. Quanah, and his wife, Erin and I find myself with a nagging feeling of having no purpose. Two and a half months of living with Sister was a life filled with purpose. Now I find myself delving deeply into a time of reflection. What did it all mean? What have I learned? What about me has changed?
I suspect the 3rd question will be answered most readily by friends. I've been already been told more than once that I seem quieter, more settled, that I don't react to things in the way people are used to me reacting. I'm guessing that this is true. Sister reminded me frequently, at the beginning of mission, to be watchful and be in the moment. Disconnecting me from my camera and cell phone went a long way to accomplishing that task. I am not, of course, completely disconnected, but, there is a discernible difference.
A life in mission is a life that takes the long view. Effective change doesn't happen overnight and patience is taken and tested to a new level. Change doesn't happen because of one's efforts to make change. It happens in the responses of people to the invitation to change. More often than not, our own desire for changing people's lot will suffer disappointment because of our own expectations. When we are disappointed, we become frustrated and when we are frustrated, it is easy to say
"what's the use". Then something unexpected happens that makes all the frustration worth it. One life is changed for the better and you see something new and wonderful start to grow.
1 comment:
I think you were ready to change, or you and Don would not have gone to Carruthersville. In your heart you knew there would be some sort of change. So the bottom line was already subconsciously altered before you left. The rest? It will all sort itself out - in the long term. :)
Post a Comment